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She saw their eyes, felt their concentrated energy moving towards her.
Shaking. She sees her hand shaking. They must be a threat. Danger! The thoughts come in…Should I run? Should I hide? Is this… 1 – The opening of the new “Jurassic Park” movie? 2 – Public speaking? Well, it could be both, couldn’t it? To the limbic system, one of the oldest parts of the brain, they’re one and the same. Within the limbic system, the amygdala in particular processes fear and aggression. It plays a key role in triggering the sympathetic nervous system’s ‘flight-fright-freeze-fawn” response. When the amygdala perceives a threat, it initiates the release of adrenaline, which prepares the body for action by increasing heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing. It’s there to help keep us alive, and it acts quickly, sometimes making us feel like our life is in danger when it is not. So, what happens next to our beleaguered protagonist? Victim or heroine? Well, she proceeds simply with the business of sharing about neurodiversity and the sensory system in GYROTONIC® movement. What? No running, no hiding, no wolves about to get her? Nope. Just words read from a piece of paper held by a profusely shaking hand. And, yes, this story is about my presentation at the recent Gyrotonic Movement and Rehab Conference. Standing up at the podium, I experienced a full-on adrenaline response and then, secondarily, felt the thoughts enter. At first, they were simple fear: run! hide! Followed by anxiety: What if the shaking continues for the whole 90-minute presentation? What if people think I’m awful, and I’m expelled from the Gyrotonic community forever? And other "helpful" ideas... But wait! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Why, no, it’s a dash of higher consciousness to the rescue! Like the conductor of an orchestra/triage captain, an observer self was able to see what was happening and make choices in the moment about how to respond. For me, that meant thanking the thoughts for trying to protect me and gently asking them to step aside. It also meant compassionately holding the part that was like a scared animal, quivering in my arms. Making room for the professional to do what she’d prepared for 6 months and flown across the country for. And then, a magic-feeling thing happened. By taking profound care of these aspects of myself, as I would for a client, my practitioner hat flew over and landed squarely on my head. Soon the audience felt less like 80+ staring eyes and more like one, albeit big, client. What a relief! It took the unfamiliar task of public speaking and “right-sized” it into something that I’ve done for years. Not only did the fear relax, I started to have a great time sharing about something that’s important to me with my co-presenter and the audience, which now seemed curious and friendly, rather than threatening. It was profound for me to observe this self-agency happening in real-time, however, this is not a tale of: “wow, look at how great she is; wish I could do that!”. Because the truth of the matter is that I couldn’t have always made that shift, and in different circumstances, I might still not be able to. But this time, all my years of focused work, including 6 months of intent work on my fear of public speaking came through. Anyone can develop their self-compassion and ability to discern amongst the chorus of needs inside them to be able to engage in their meaningful activities (occupations) with more ease and joy, even if they’re scared at first. It creates room for something bigger to show up and come through us. This is something that I help people with at Ease Therapy and Movement, through Tensegrity Medicine, which includes IFS-inspired work, and related embodiment/somatic inquiry modalities. (see resources below for more info) Before wrapping up this tale of transforming fear to ease, let’s return to the animal body, those amazing limbic and nervous systems that reacted with immediacy to save our protagonist from perceived threat. They did exactly what they were meant to do. Nothing was wrong, there was no malfunction. Yes, through investing previously in therapeutic processes, I had the self-agency to choose what to do with the information from my body. But the information was not wrong. My body had never had so many eyes staring at it before, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it responds the same way again. In another new, dangerous-feeling situation, it’s reaction could have been a life-saver. Let’s give our bodies some credit for all the ways they are constantly working to keep us alive. They deserve to be respected, cherished and cared for. If you need some help getting there, please reach out through the contact page. References:
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We are multi-dimensional beings. I remember this, and then I forget. This morning, in my somatic expressive arts class (with the wonderful Rosario Sammartino), I journeyed yet again into the universe that is my body, thoughts, feelings, and spirit. Entering inward from any of these places, we expand our awareness into the fullness of who we are, into the pain points and the resources, the parts that we wish weren’t there and the places that feel really good (or at least neutral). This is a process that clients and I cocreate together at Ease Therapy and Movement, through movement, bodywork, somatic emotional dialogue…whatever entry point is accessible to them.
In remembering our wholeness, it can ease our suffering. Our anxious mind or painful back might still be there, but they are no longer the only thing we notice. There’s always more to us, and it is relieving. This remembering helps my overloaded nervous system to feel the support of the parts of me that aren’t overloaded. I hope it helps you, too! And, if you need personal support with this, please do reach out to Ease Therapy and Movement. We would be delighted to help! “I am the impermanence I see.” - Deborah Hay
Back in July, about to move from my home of fifteen years, I lay on the deck gazing at the beautiful, big tree overlooking me. It’s always felt like an embrace, a friend. Impermanence floats to my mind with a mix of grief, bitter and sweet. “It’s okay to let go.”, the tree lets me know. What a lesson we learn over and over again on this journey of life. “It’s okay to let go”, to change, to grow, to live, to lose. Really, whether one agrees that it’s okay or not, it is inevitable. From the level of cellular regeneration all the way to major life changes, we experience impermanence constantly. A new child, a friend passing away in their 50’s, a president’s political career ending, lines slowly appearing on an aging face, new opportunities to expand past our comfort zones, a marriage, hurricane’s destruction, new friends, new home, gaining a fresh perspective that changes how we experience the world, changes in physical ability, and on and on. In grief and in joy, life is always changing. We all know this more or less, but do we allow ourselves to know it fully, deeply in our cells? Or do we brush past it as a superficial fact of life? And, is there anything permanent in all this impermanence? Feeling into the rich lessons of impermanence, I find that there is something deep inside that has been recognizable through all of the change. A home base. Some would say it’s a higher power or the true self. To me, it feels like a combination of both; it feels like soul. However one conceives of it, it’s comforting in the face of ongoing inner and outer change. Is it real or just a concept? Constant or also changing? I’m not sure it matters as long as it helps ease the existential challenge of perpetual change. In Tensegrity Medicine, we learn that all of the “somatostates” (spiritual, cognitive, emotional, physical) are intertwined, in direct relationship with each other (and with everyone else’s). By investing time in deepening our connection to these interrelated somatostates, our sense of home base strengthens. We lean more fully into who we are in each moment. This creates an anchor when the waves of change arise; we may get thrown around a bit but can always find some semblance of a home within to return to. Developing these areas in relationship to one another rather than separately helps create a more robust home. It can better withstand a challenge in any particular somatostate than if we overbuild one area at the expense of the others. What does it look like to develop a stronger home base to help when the winds of change blow in? A simple way is just to practice checking in with different aspects of yourself as you do an activity. Get a conversation going through words, images, sensations, whatever language is available to that part of you. For example, while stretching your hamstrings: what is the physical sensation? Are any feelings coming up? What thoughts? Does this feel connected to spirit in any way? Again, these don’t have to be cognitive questions like those listed, they can be much more abstract…ie while I do this stretch, I feel a slight pain in the back of my legs, it feels like a sparkle surrounded by navy blue, I feel powerful as I lean in, there’s a thought that thinks this is pretty boring, etc etc. It also doesn’t need to involve words at all, but, as I’m sharing about it in a written format, well… ;) And, as our home deepens, it's easier to let go: of old circumstances, thought patterns, painful tension in our bodies. This can literally reduce our suffering on all levels. ”It’s okay to let go.”, says the wise old tree. If this is something you’d like to explore further with a guide, please reach out to Ease Therapy and Movement. We offer sessions to help build up and integrate these somatostates utilizing embodied inquiry, bodywork, and movement. As a somatic occupational therapist, whatever modalities we are using, my goal is always to help you feel more at home within yourself so you can engage in the activities that matter to you out in the world. If this piece resonates with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts on impermanence, too! Thank you for reading. www.JamienRose.com Today, I’m reflecting on the limitless depth that lies beyond the surface of everybody we encounter. Heartache and struggle, beauty and joy, cruelty and redemption; it feels like swimming in an infinite pool of stories and possibilities. We are vast…we contain multitudes! (adaptation of Walt Whitman’s famous quote from “Leaves of Grass”).
Of course, there’s the old adage to “not judge a book by its cover”, but how often do we humans do just that? Projecting ourselves, our needs, our prejudices onto the other, we see more about us than we do about them. Sometimes it’s neutral but sometimes it’s truly harmful, and, surprisingly, I think that goes for overly positive projections (putting someone on a “pedestal”) as well as negative ones. Either way, the other person is made into just a 2-dimensional figment of our imaginations. And, I do have a lot of grace for us humans. This is so common that I suspect it’s linked to our survival instinct somehow. Fortunately, when we are living in relative safety, we can learn to see people more fully; there’s a gift in that for both parties. One of the ways we get there is through learning to see ourselves more compassionately and clearly, which can be surprisingly difficult at times. Sharing a photo on Facebook of myself leaping for Leap Day brought up this reflection. I had planned to just put up the photo and leave the rest to the viewer’s imagination…’How did she leap so high? Wish I could do that.’, or “Her feet are nice but that turnout is a disaster.’, or “That’s fun!”… the possibilities are as endless as the viewer’s perception. But the reality was that at the time of the photo, I was fighting hard for the survival of my dance career, struggling to find my way back into a professional company. I felt desperate to keep my hard-earned career alive, and was weighed down by injuries and the rough realities of being a self-supporting, mid-twenties, “starving artist”. And, I was also grateful to have a passion in life and absolutely delighted to be able to “fly”. What a feeling! Sharing the “behind the scenes” (with discretion and healthy boundaries) and allowing myself to be seen more fully felt really honoring to younger me. So, why am I going into all this on a blog for a somatic OT practice? Feeling truly seen and heard, or at least not being blanketed with projections and assumptions, is such a gift these days, and, I believe, necessary for a therapeutic relationship to be effective. I actually think it’s the most important ingredient, beyond any other training or modalities the practitioner might have. It takes a lot of inner work for a clinician to be able to consciously create this space for clients, and it’s definitely something that I work on, albeit imperfectly. Being profoundly held by another can help us learn to truly “see” and “hear” ourselves and hold space for our truth and highest good. It helps us to understand when it might be healthy to share more of ourselves (like I did with the FB post) or hold a stronger boundary for safety. Creating integration of our physical body, nervous system, and emotions requires an ability to deepen into presence with ourselves. Somatic practices help us build a relationship with our bodies and, thus, a deeper understanding of who we are. And, when we can do that within, it is so much easier to then offer this depth of viewing to other people. Seeing ourselves and each other more fully, I believe, can help create a more loving, compassionate world. And, I find that really soothing, as we ride together on this “swiftly tilting planet” (Madeleine L’Engle). If this post speaks to you, please reach out! I'd love to hold space for your full self to shine, together. www.JamienRose.com/connect.html Added 6/17/24: I just read a fantastic newsletter article about the act of seeing clearly in "The Marginalian", by Maria Popova. Highly recommend if you'd like to further your ponderings on this topic: https://www.themarginalian.org/2024/06/11/projection-perception/ Thank you for your interest! At this time, there is no set schedule for posts, as I like to consider things deeply before sharing. It's important to me to be visible but not add to the "noise" of the internet, and my hope is that these writings are beneficial to myself and others in some way. Please sign up for our newsletter or follow us on Instagram to receive new posts. Please note that email (including this form and the newsletter) are not secure forms of communication, and the privacy of your email address and PHI cannot be guaranteed. If you choose to share your email via this form, you are consenting to the associated privacy risks. Medical Disclaimer
All information on this website and blog is intended for instruction and informational purposes only. The authors are not responsible for any harm or injury that may result. Significant injury risk is possible if you do not follow due diligence and seek suitable professional advice about your particular situation, condition, or injury. No guarantees of specific results are expressly made or implied on this website. A few months back, the time had finally come as it does for most of us. Reading glasses. So, I dutifully had them made and was quite disappointed when they didn’t seem to do anything. At all. Rather than taking them back to the shop, I assumed that maybe they were supposed to be that subtle, as I tried to trick my mind into thinking they were helping an itty bitty bit. Or, perhaps, my eyes had worsened dramatically since the eye exam. Thinking that maybe it was the latter, I finally went back to the optometrist months later. Turns out, they were mistakenly made to be distance glasses and not readers! I was floored. A mistake from an outside source had not even crossed my mind.
Internal locus of control (coined by Julian B Rotter), self-reliant strategy (Hakomi), self-preservation instinct (Enneagram) are all ideas that point to the phenomenon that I experienced, and I’m sure there are many other descriptions. Does everyone do this? No. There are just as many terms for doing the opposite. And, some people do both simultaneously in different areas of their lives or bounce between them. Why am I bringing this up? I have found that people I work with have often tried to ignore their needs or felt like they had to fulfill them solo for a long time before reaching out for help. Just like I did! There’s a reason that people with chronic conditions and dancers are my chosen clientele. I knew a dancer who broke her foot while on break from a ballet company and returned to 40+ hours/week of dancing before it had healed fully. She didn’t even tell the artistic director for fear she’d lose her job, and, in that company, she likely would have. True story! Dancers endure and endure pain and discomfort (physically and emotionally) all the while hiding it from audiences and bosses. (And, yes, there is joy and transcendence, too! But that’s not what we’re talking about here today.) And, I knew a gentleman with a neurological condition who spent years avoiding using a mobility device because he didn’t want to appear ill. When he finally decided to give it a go, his life expanded! He was delighted by all the things he could now do that were off-limits before due to his difficulty walking. Rather than feeling incapable from having to rely on a device, he felt more capable and alive than he had in years. Is self-reliance all bad? Goodness, no! It can create amazing self-efficacy, resilience, and ability to accomplish what one sets out to do. The great part is that all those good aspects aren’t going anywhere. You can receive the help you need and still call upon that scrappy tenacity when you need it. In the meantime, however, you can feel supported and expand the possibilities in your life. That's worth investing in. For self-reflection, ask yourself how my enduring might be increasing my pain, my stress, or my inability to do the things that I love. Taking everything on yourself can create a certain rigidity through tension in the literal tissue of the body and emotional stress. Both increase discomfort, and also limit full access to strength. Quite literally, true muscular strength comes from a place of being able to let go fully in order to contract fully. A muscle exhausted from constantly holding on is a weaker muscle. By learning to let go and accept help (with discernment!), we can learn to fully rest into something other than our own will-power. While I completely forgot these lessons in relation to my reading glasses (ha ha), I have learned over time that I have a lot more to offer others when I receive the support I need through therapeutic work, friends/family, and artistic pursuits. At Ease Therapy and Movement, I am honored to hold space for the self-reliant to feel supported and more at ease in their lives (and the not-so-self-reliant, too ;) If this interests you, I’d love to chat: www.JamienRose.com |
Jamien RoseEase Therapy and Movement Archives |
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Ease THERAPY and movementVoice 206-607-9425 Fax 206-326-1159
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With gratitude to Alex Strazzanti for his incredible support in creating this website. www.Strazzanti-photography.com
For OT Services: Ease is a private pay practice and has no relationship with any third party payor (Medicare, Medicaid, private insurance, LNI, etc.). This means that payment is made directly between the client and Ease, and billing/superbills are not available. Clients may contact their HRA/HSA/FSA directly to see if they cover OT for wellness and prevention. If you are experiencing financial hardship, please inquire about availability for sliding fee sessions. We look forward to being a part of your health, well-being, and prevention journey!
Medical Disclaimer
All information on this website and blog is intended for instruction and informational purposes only. The authors are not responsible for any harm or injury that may result. Significant injury risk is possible if you do not follow due diligence and seek suitable professional advice about your particular situation, condition, or injury. Information on this website is not a substitute for professional occupational therapy services. No guarantees of specific results are expressly made or implied on this website.
GYROTONIC®, GYROTONIC EXPANSION SYSTEM® and GYROKINESIS® are registered trademarks of Gyrotonic Sales Corp & are used with permission.
For OT Services: Ease is a private pay practice and has no relationship with any third party payor (Medicare, Medicaid, private insurance, LNI, etc.). This means that payment is made directly between the client and Ease, and billing/superbills are not available. Clients may contact their HRA/HSA/FSA directly to see if they cover OT for wellness and prevention. If you are experiencing financial hardship, please inquire about availability for sliding fee sessions. We look forward to being a part of your health, well-being, and prevention journey!
Medical Disclaimer
All information on this website and blog is intended for instruction and informational purposes only. The authors are not responsible for any harm or injury that may result. Significant injury risk is possible if you do not follow due diligence and seek suitable professional advice about your particular situation, condition, or injury. Information on this website is not a substitute for professional occupational therapy services. No guarantees of specific results are expressly made or implied on this website.
GYROTONIC®, GYROTONIC EXPANSION SYSTEM® and GYROKINESIS® are registered trademarks of Gyrotonic Sales Corp & are used with permission.