Perceiving

Today, I’m reflecting on the limitless depth that lies beyond the surface of everybody we encounter. Heartache and struggle, beauty and joy, cruelty and redemption; it feels like swimming in an infinite pool of stories and possibilities. We are vast…we contain multitudes! (adaptation of Walt Whitman’s famous quote from “Leaves of Grass”).

Of course, there’s the old adage to “not judge a book by its cover”, but how often do we humans do just that? Projecting ourselves, our needs, our prejudices onto the other, we see more about us than we do about them. Sometimes it’s neutral but sometimes it’s truly harmful, and, surprisingly, I think that goes for overly positive projections (putting someone on a “pedestal”) as well as negative ones. Either way, the other person is made into just a 2-dimensional figment of our imaginations.

And, I do have a lot of grace for us humans. This is so common that I suspect it’s linked to our survival instinct somehow. Fortunately, when we are living in relative safety, we can learn to see people more fully; there’s a gift in that for both parties. One of the ways we get there is through learning to see ourselves more compassionately and clearly, which can be surprisingly difficult at times.

Sharing a photo on Facebook of myself leaping for Leap Day brought up this reflection. I had planned to just put up the photo and leave the rest to the viewer’s imagination…’How did she leap so high? Wish I could do that.’, or “Her feet are nice but that turnout is a disaster.’, or “That’s fun!”… the possibilities are as endless as the viewer’s perception.

But the reality was that at the time of the photo, I was fighting hard for the survival of my dance career, struggling to find my way back into a professional company. I felt desperate to keep my hard-earned career alive, and was weighed down by injuries and the rough realities of being a self-supporting, mid-twenties, “starving artist”. And, I was also grateful to have a passion in life and absolutely delighted to be able to “fly”. What a feeling! Sharing the “behind the scenes” (with discretion and healthy boundaries) and allowing myself to be seen more fully felt really honoring to younger me.

So, why am I going into all this on a blog for a somatic OT practice? Feeling truly seen and heard, or at least not being blanketed with projections and assumptions, is such a gift these days, and, I believe, necessary for a therapeutic relationship to be effective. I actually think it’s the most important ingredient, beyond any other training or modalities the practitioner might have. It takes a lot of inner work for a clinician to be able to consciously create this space for clients, and it’s definitely something that I work on, albeit imperfectly.

Being profoundly held by another can help us learn to truly “see” and “hear” ourselves and hold space for our truth and highest good. It helps us to understand when it might be healthy to share more of ourselves (like I did with the FB post) or hold a stronger boundary for safety. Creating integration of our physical body, nervous system, and emotions requires an ability to deepen into presence with ourselves. Somatic practices help us build a relationship with our bodies and, thus, a deeper understanding of who we are.

​And, when we can do that within, it is so much easier to then offer this depth of viewing to other people. ​Seeing ourselves and each other more fully, I believe, can help create a more loving, compassionate world. And, I find that really soothing, as we ride together on this “swiftly tilting planet” (Madeleine L’Engle).

If this post speaks to you, please reach out! I'd love to hold space for your full self to shine, together. www.JamienRose.com/​connect.html

Added 6/17/24:
I just read a fantastic newsletter article about the act of seeing clearly in "The Marginalian", by Maria Popova. Highly recommend if you'd like to further your ponderings on this topic: ​https://www.themarginalian.org/2024/06/11/projection-perception/